yassmines:

me, having an important phone conversation at the office someday: hey it’s me, (covers speaker) ur boy uhhhh skinny penis (uncovers).. I just had a quick question about the spreadsheet you sent me!

been on here for 6 years but never got a callout post or death threat so whats the point

baece:

beetledrink:

beetledrink:

oh good to know the tumblr staff team has gone completely insane

sir im gonna need to see your male nipple license

sir that is my emotional support female nipple

follow me on twitter

i use this website so often i literally cant tell if i lost 90 or gained 10 followers

bio-child:

I was soaked and freezing cold by the time we reached this alpine lake, but something about the sound and tranquility kept me completely unbothered.

cockmcstuffins:

twilight au but edward gets more outlandish in his attempts to make bella not like him like he asks her what her feelings on trenchcoats are and when she says i don’t know they’re pretty unsettling in certain contexts he just shows up the next day in the longest biggest trenchcoat a man can own and tells bella he has 79 cockroaches in his pockets but she’ll never know which pockets and that’s just a mystery she’ll have to live with

handsomejackisbi:

a girl in one of my classes sent out an email saying “you’ll be having a furry classmate this semester” and my heart stopped but she was talking about her service dog